I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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