My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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