dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
