So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
