Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
