Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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