Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize