I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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