okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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