hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
