I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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