you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He shit in the fireplace
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
