my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
