I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
