Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think I just sharted jello shots
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