I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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