He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm like, not good at living.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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