She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
