I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
