Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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