we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
