woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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