I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Someone came in the potted fern
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
