I must be too annoying 4 u.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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