I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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