I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
