You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize