did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
