He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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