We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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