I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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