judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize