I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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