i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
