HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Can I color on your dick again?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
