Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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