yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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