Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I smell stomach acid.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
