Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
