i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
