We won't sleep together?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
