Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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