Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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