plz talk dirty to me
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im holly from the hills drunk
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
