Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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