It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
