He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
