Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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