woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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