it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
