Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
