just come out here and I will go home with you...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
