Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
