hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Less talking, more tequila
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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