now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think I won the penis lottery.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
