pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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