The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize