You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
