Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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