So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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