your room smells of hookers.
And success
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Randomize
