nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
