Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
