He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
