Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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