WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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