I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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