it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
