I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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