Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize